Ch. 1 Frustration Is A Sign Of Transition

Faith

Nov 9

PRESS THROUGH

A THREE-PART SERIES

I still think it hasn't settled in yet. I mean, I'm living in it. I'm operating in it. But it still feels like it's this intangible thing - like the dream I captured in a frame. But no, it's... very real now.

The day before the launch, I found myself just sitting in it. Right in the middle of the freshly painted cement floor. The carpet was the very first thing I wanted out of here, and now it really was gone. And everything that once was went right along with it!

The walls that danced wildly between vibrant yellows and deep reds were now tamed. Blanketed with sweeps of snowy white and quieted by dewy caramels. The weight of the room felt lighter, relieved even from the sofa set that once swallowed up space and time.

I realized I was sitting right where that sofa used to stand, and as my eyes continued to skip across the room, my mind wandered back to that dream captured in a frame.I just couldn't believe it wasn't just a dream anymore. Agwe Studios was finally here.

If these walls could talk, I wonder what they could tell me about transitions. Seeing as they just endured a massive one, what wisdom would they share with me after witnessing us remove fixtures that once adorned them? When full rooms were emptied and the walls laid bare, what thoughts did they have when we left them to the silence?

Did they feel as frustrated as I do now?"

CHAPTER 1

Frustration Is A Sign Of Transition

At the time, I couldn't put my finger on it. All I knew was that things that never bothered me before started to bother me.

Agwe Studios launched, and I was displaced to my sister's room upstairs while my room became the temporary storage unit for the studio. But it was still my room. So every time I needed something, I'd climb down two flights of stairs, squeeze past jumbo speakers, hike over a centerpiece table, and shimmy my way through stacks of cabinets.

Very soon, that began to frustrate me. Then certain people, certain tasks, and even my own clothes began to frustrate me!

It wasn't until I finished an interview with Voyage Baltimore Magazine that I realized something in me was off because even my story began to frustrate me. It was like I was getting tired of telling the same story - the story of a creative girl from Cameroon pursuing a career in fashion that her father disapproved of and ending up wandering through seven years of unemployment. It just didn't feel like it was mine anymore, almost as if I was ready to move on from it and tell something new already.

A strange feeling it is - becoming detached from myself. I felt like I was drifting, unable to set my feet on terrain that, unbeknownst to me, had clearly shifted.

In an attempt to assemble some kind of structure (and sanity), I scrambled to maintain my routine at all costs. Wake up at 4 am. Work out at 6 am. End work at 5 pm.

And, well, let's just say it baffled me that what used to come so easily was becoming such a struggle.

I didn't know what in the world was going on with me. So I became more frustrated. I complained. I pouted. I shook my fists toward the heavens! Then, in one of those moments, God showed me a vision of a chick hatching from its egg.

In the egg, the chick grows to a point where it becomes frustrated by what confines it. What was embraced as shelter now becomes an obstacle. The chick doesn't know what's on the other side of the egg; all it knows is that this situation is frustrating, and I'm no longer meant to be here. So it pecks, shakes, and pushes until it breaks through.

God said the frustrations I was feeling were a sign that He had begun to shift me into something new. I was now in my Promised Land. Instead of an invitation to complain, the frustrations were an invitation to evolve.

There was nothing wrong with me. Instead, I was growing out of an old season and into a new one. I wasn't broken, lazy, or lost simply because my routines were no longer working or because I wasn't passionate about certain things or people anymore. God's grace over those areas of my life had shifted, and He was re-settling me. Like a snow globe after it's been shaken and wishful eyes track where each snowflake will land when it settles again, my world was being shaken to be resettled.

NOTE TO SELF:

Transitions can make life hazy and frustrations don’t help to give clarity either! But evaluating what you’re feeling can clear the funk of frustration. Even if you don't know what you're feeling, write them down, share them with God, share them with wise counsel, and just continue to take notice of them. Romans 8:26 says God understands your groans and the feelings you find difficult to express. He will give you clarity through His word and through godly community.
You're not broken, lazy, or lost simply because your routines are no longer working or because you aren't passionate about certain things or people anymore. It may mean that God's grace over those areas in your life has lifted, and He's resettling you into something new.
The frustrations are an invitation to evolve, not an invitation to complain. Of course, complaining is a natural response to the things that frustrate us. But if we desire to realize the new thing that God is doing in us and for us, then we have to make the switch from complaining to evolving. The Israelites forfeited entering their Promised Land and instead entered 40 more years of wandering in the wilderness because of their complaining (Numbers 14:26-35). Constant complaining is a sign of disbelief, and God cannot move on our behalf if we don't exercise faith, for without faith it's impossible to please God.
Make the choice to have a different spirit. Because Caleb had a different spirit, God kept him alive to experience the Promised Land while everyone else died off in the wilderness. It’s natural to complain, and it's easy, and it makes you feel good too. But it doesn't put you in a position to receive your blessing. God is calling you higher. So, evolve. Press through! Make the opposite choice - celebrate instead of complain. Choose to see the transition as a marker of growth because that's exactly what it is - an indication that you are, in fact, moving forward. If nothing else, that is worth celebrating!